Holy Castrating Calves Batman!

Mindy On the Farm, Day 2

Forget easing into it slowly, let's just get right in there.
Today I stood in various paddocks surrounded by cows. Cows are really big in case you didn't know. Maybe not as big as bulls (let's hope I don't have to go near them) but they are still freaking big and their moos are loud. Coming from the city, you kind of think "yeah, cows go moo" but it's not so much "moo" as it is MMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
So I watched cows and calves being round up and corralled. Technically I helped because I was in the truck helping to heard them and I got in and out opening gates and closing them. No one else seemed to have a problem with it, but it is pretty freaking scary standing in the middle of a bunch of cows.
Little did I know what was coming up.
Once the cows were rounded up, they were moved into umm the place where they do stuff do them. Vaccines, marking, I guess branding, and of course, castrating. I saw it all except for the branding, which has either already happened or is to come. I helped move cows along and write out the tags and get the instruments ready. I actually felt like a nurse or doctor helping the surgeon. Except for in this case the surgeon was trying to convince me that I could castrate one of the steers myself. Yea... well I'm adventurous and wanting all kinds of experiences in life but I'm not ready to castrate cows. In fact, watching the whole process, I didn't know whether to throw up, cry, or run away. I did not of those things and I just busied myself in whatever tasks I could so I wouldn't have to think about it. But those moos weren't just moos anymore, they were screams of terror. It's not as bad as I'm making it sound, at least not to everyone here, but to me, oh my goodness, way to get traumatized. So marking calves is basically taking two chunks out of their ears (two because there are 3 farms and this farm does two while another does only one, and the other does 3, poor 3 farm cows...) which they likened to ear piercing but I figure maybe if they took chunks out of our ears when they did it then ya, but it's way worse. So they corral them one at a time into this last gate/fence/place where they become locked in, vaccinated, have their right ear get two chunks taken out, and a number tag put in (government regulation), and then if they are unlucky enough to be male, yet not chosen to be a bull, they get castrated. I didn't know what the castration process was but it's basically an elastic that is put around their testicles until they shrivel up and eventually fall off. I guess that is better than them being straight up cut off like I was imagining was happening. But ya, still not a fun process. The worst was the ears though (maybe not for them but for me) because I could see them bleeding and I knew the calves didn't know what the hell was going on, only that it hurt. Anyways, the whole thing just made me feel bad. And I didn't know what to do. I mean it's only going to be like that one other half day but I didn't know what my participation said about me, or about my opinion of farm-life or if it made any different what I thought or not because it was going to happen regardless. If everyday was like that, I would be fruit picking, that is for sure.

Warning, monologue to be or not to be vegetarian debate ahead
So this whole farm-life is making me think harder about being a vegetarian. I've been trying to be one for quite a while, but only half-ass trying. And now I don't know. This farm treats the animals well (in spite of everything I just went through), they have soo much room to roam and be free and frolic, if cows frolic... It gives farmers a way of life, and they cows have a good life as well before they are sent to the slaughter. Well at least from my perspective they have it alright, I don't know how cows really feel about it. I don't know how smart cows even are, they seem pretty stupid to me but I've only spent one day with them and that's judging a little quickly. Then again, does intelligence matter, should I feel less bad about eating things that are stupid? They are still alive after all and maybe the more stupid they are, the more compassion I should have for them. I don't know. I'm a little mixed up. After today though, I don't know if I can eat beef. Like physically, I don't know if I would be able to put it in my mouth, now that I know better what the whole process is about. When I was a kid, I never liked eating meat much anyways, so maybe no one should have made me and then I would have grown up vegetarian. Now, however, there is some meat I like very much, maybe even as a kid I did but ya, I wonder if I can give it up. I would feel better about myself if I was strong enough to be a vegetarian. I can use the whole borderline anaemic line as to why I shouldn't bother or why it's important for me to eat meat sometimes, which might be true, but it feels a lot like a cop out these days. Gah! Can I give it up? I think this experience might be just the thing I needed to become a full fledged vegetarian. We'll see. I know I couldn't kill an animal, maybe unless I had no other choice, so it feels hypocritical to eat them. If I can't do it myself, how is it okay to let someone else do it and eat it ignorantly? That's what I'm thinking atm, I'm open to other opinions. And sorry, I'm kind of using this space to think, probably doesn't make for the best read.

Anyways, who would have thought I'd be a farmer for 2-3 months? I wonder what experience I will have next. I kind of like having all these different experiences and different jobs. Keeps life interesting... Granted I might not be enjoying the day to day here or the castrating stuff, it's still an interesting experience to look back on one day. The lady who runs the farm here with her husband, has never met someone who has never been on a farm before. This way of life is soooo different than anything I've ever known.